Outfit of the day from Tuesday

Outfits
Skirt from aritzia, sweater I got from the free table on campus, blouse from H&M

Sorry for the front facing quality, it fell from my hand and onto the sidewalk during the summer. Thats all I have to post for the day. I hope the rest of your day is great and I will see you guy next time!

Whats in my backpack College edition

self care sunday

Hi everyone, so with another semester finished and another one in motion here is a condensed list of what I  bring with me. This is usually to a cafe or if I’m just bumming around campus.

  1. Laptop and laptop charger
  2. Nice Sony head phones
  3. A manga (currently I’m reading Still Sick by Akashi)
  4. Two Notebooks (one for doodles and the other for notes)
  5. A little pouch with lotion and lip balm
  6. Water bottle (This isn’t the exact one but its a cute one like it, https://www.amazon.com/Sailor-Portable-Insulation-Festival-Outdoor/dp/B07S92T4P5/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2S9FC9JDS1JZB&keywords=cute+water+bottle+sailor+moon&qid=1580177646&sprefix=cute+sailor+moon+water%2Caps%2C199&sr=8-1)
  7. Pens (usually fine gel pens)
  8. Mittens (it’s winter here..need I go on)
  9. My keys

Rainy day update

Thoughts

So it rained all day here and I’d just thought this would be a pretty neat idea to keep doing. This time around I’ve been feeling better even though I just ate ramen noodles an drank a red bull. Without further ado here are the updates:

  1. I made confetti cupcakes the other day
  2. I cleaned out my closet again
  3. I got my summer housing all taken care of which is fantastic
  4. I was recently told it was strawberry season in Japan so that’s cool
  5. The snows basically gone here
  6. I got some new pleated skirts so can’t wait to wear an style them
  7. Just finished watching New Game which is a cute slice of life anime (Highly recommend it.)

That’s really all I got for right now, I’m just prepping for finals right now and trying to get stuff done for study abroad. As always I hope the rest of your day is great and I will see you guys next time!

Big sweaters

Outfits

So by the title you should already know that I love huge sweaters. Preferably in the men’s section for two reasons, the first reason is that its a little bit cheaper to buy in the men’s section. The materials usually softer or thicker so you will be guaranteed warmth on cold nights. Plus for someone small like me if it’s big enough I can just pair it with tights, a long necklace and some chunky boots then Bang!  It looks like I gave all the fucks but really it took me ten minutes to get ready, another five if I wanted to put on makeup and maybe fifteen if I put my hair up in space buns.  Most of my sweaters I find in the men’ section at h&m or thrift stores if that helps. As always I hope the rest of your day is great and I will see you guys next time!

Darling just fuckin own it (#ootd)

Outfits

So if you follow me on Instagram this is nothing new. But just for the sake of this outfit I have to share it on here as well. This will be scheduled a few days out so that’s why I’m putting it here. I got the shirt from nasty gal which I’m currently in love with, pants are vintage that I got at goodwill. Shoes are from Nordstrom and sunglasses were five dollars from Cotton On. Yesterday was a chill day I just went out to lunch by myself then worked out and went to class. Midterms are this week so wish me luck! As always I hope the rest of your day is great and I will see you guys next time.

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Poems

self care sunday

I’ve been writing a lot more that usual. This is a good and bad thing, let me explain. If I write too much I dont have time to proofread. I just keep writing and writing but I never look it over and criticize my own writing.

It’s a good thing because I dont really have writer block. I just keep writing and I always have something to work on.

But some my work will never meet another set of eyes and is that okay? Totally. Recently in my creative writing class, yes I’ve been going to class again. Proud moment my dudes! There was a poet who came his name was Danez Smith. He has won a ton of awards and has a book that I will link at the bottom. It was amazing to hear him speak and answer some questions.

I asked him about his writing process. He said that he doesn’t know, he just made time for it whenever. That made me realize that I have the time to write like my blog and YouTube channel. (Btw I will post a video this coming tuesday I promise!) Now as the time comes down to choose work for my portfolio, I have no idea. My writing as of now ranges from depressing as ef, or kind of hopeful and inspiring. There are some that are inbetween but I’m not sure it would get the message across. I feel like this message could be very raw and deep. It could be but I still have no clue. I guess that’s the adventure in this.  Thank you for letting me rant about this and I will see you guys next Sunday!

The joy of reading

self care sunday, Thoughts

Recently I’ve been reading a lot and I realized that I missed it. I started reading Emergency Contact by Mary H.K. Choi and so far I am really enjoying it. As this is going out I don’t know how far I am but I may already be finished with it. While i was reading not matter where it was I remembered the joy of reading. How when you read that really good book that you forgot time was a thing. Or when you got in a really comfortable position in a public place but you don’t care about that. On Wednesday I was at the mall because finals is upon my campus and I needed to get away. So I went into Barnes and Noble right? Got this really large amount of tea and I sat down to read. For however long I was there I enjoyed it. I forgot how much you can relate to characters and picture them as friends. (If If you do that too we are automatically friends.)

I could go on and on about this but I have other papers to write and procrastinate. Leave a comment about your favorite book or character and why, I love hearing these so much. Mine currently is the main character of Emergency Contact, her name is Penny. I love how she’s so sarcastic and has a dry sense of humor. She’s awkward beyond belief and is a college freshman like myself. Anyways I hope your day or week was amazing and I will see you guys next Sunday!

I have problems and am trying(honestly)

self care sunday, Thoughts

Okay so recently I have been in this rut in all three areas (mentally, physically, and emotionally).

So now as I type here I am going to go out of my comfort zone. Today at 4pm I am going to go to an aerial class that will be going on for four weeks every Sunday. If the events on Saturday dont go well, I will sign up for one therapy session. I also signed up for a four week pole class starting on april fourth.

I am both scared and excited to be trying these things, I also realized through this relapse that my feelings are vaild. It took me eighteen years to realize that what I am feeling right now is actually good. It’s just when I feel it constantly and it has overtook my life is when it gets bad.

I get so stuck within my head that I just expect people to get what happened and all of that. It’s terrible when you want to tell someone something but not actually wanting to say any of it.

I will also be uploading a new video, whether on my vlog channel or my main every tuesday. So keep an eye out for that on my social media.

As for my blog I will continue to do book reviews, Self care Sundays, and my photo blog will start up again next week. These past few weeks have been very bad and saturday may be my breaking point. But on the bright side…I honestly can’t think of anything right now other than I might get to see my friends tomorrow. I’m under some pressure by my parents saturday but what’s new there. I paid for my classes already and there’s no going back. I really need to sleep. Yeah, thank you so much for sticking with me!

Being outside of my comfort zone

self care sunday, Thoughts

So one of the classes I am taking this semester is improv for non majors, man does that class get me out of my comfort zone every morning. We start with getting our blood pressure up, like warming up before practice or a game. Walking around, stretching, sitting up straight, it feels weird to me. We also do these exercises where we get up in front of the whole class and walk or something. Though after that class I’ll realize two things, the first thing is my tea is now at a good temperature to drink. The second thing is I’m much more confident or more than I usually am. I think this class is good for me and so far I’m glad I’m in it. I can already see that I’m improving slightly from it, this past Tuesday I spoke at this spoken word event. I would’ve never done it if it were say two years ago. Confidence is hard to get at but I think through this blog, my class, and my photography page, I’m getting there.

They won’t always be there for you.

self care sunday, Thoughts

This is to makeup for all the selfcare sundays I have missed this month and last month. At the beginning of last semester I talked to this person, and I thought we would just become friends. That isn’t what happened, I have written a lot about this person and I don’t know if I should be happy about that or not.

I would say I have someone to blame but its really myself.  I warned this person from the very beginning that I wasn’t good for them but they wanted to help me, I pushed them away. Though they kept coming back to try and help but I knew I would just use them. I didn’t want to do that since we would see each other around on campus. Time passed and I talked to them again, to try and figure out what we were now. I thought we would go back to being friends or something along those lines. But I went back into the mindset that I could use them. So I dropped them again, I didn’t talk to them and they didn’t talk back. I didn’t want to do this to them, or to anyone for that matter, so I isolated myself. I was scared of seeing them again, I hid in my dorm room and only went out to class. I guarded myself when I went anywhere on campus alone. I didn’t want to see them because they could have talked to me.

During that time though, I was in a dark place in all honesty, I wasn’t taking care of my body like I normally would. I had these unhealthy coping mechanisms that I did not want to go back to so I tried to think of something to distract me. Time passed and I remember crying one night in my friends room, that is when I had my laptop up there so I tried to keep myself busy with writing and Youtube videos. I was thinking of starting a Youtube channel but realized I didn’t like being in front of a camera to talk. Then I thought about starting a blog, then I thought ,how hipster do we want to get? All I knew is I needed something to keep my mind off of them. It’s only a big deal if we make it one right? So I found my old blog and thought why not actually start this up? I did a couple of clicks and had is all set up, now just what do I post about. At first I thought about book reviews but I didn’t read as much as I did in the past. Then I thought about my outfits, until then they were very bland and not fun. I have always loved fashion, I love watching project runway, america’s next top model. So clothes, fashion, my style, my makeup game. I knew this would connect my two passions of fashion and writing, so I took a shot in the dark.

I know this is only the beginning for this blog but I’m going to work to branch outside of my comfort zone. Now I know through this experience that people will not always come back into your life. I know that person will never care for me like they did before. I still see myself as a young person so I still have a lot to learn, literally, I have homework. That aside I just want to thank my beautiful people for sticking with me. I hope the rest of your day is great and I will see you guys soon.